In the Fight Against Cancer, Survival Isn’t a Good Enough Goal
The following is adapted from The Grace of Cancer.
In the fight against cancer, you have a choice: live or die. Which one will it be?
I hope you will choose the obvious: TO LIVE!
To be clear, living is not the same as surviving. Living means choosing to live an extraordinary life. Making that decision means focusing on the outcome you want for yourself, removing negativity from your life, and being open to trying anything that will help you heal.
In my own fight with cancer, I knew that if I set my sights on a beautiful and fulfilling life, that confidence would carry me through. Never underestimate the power of commitment and discipline when building your dream life.
It’s not enough to be on autopilot. It’s not enough to just survive. You need to be alive and engaged in order to thrive. Make the decision to live and put yourself in the right mindset to begin your healing journey.
Continue to Live
It may sound obvious, but when you choose to live, you have to continue to live. This means not staying home all the time; you need to leave your house and get out in the world. Aside from the fact that I lost weight, I never looked sick because I believed by looking sick, I would stay sick. I continued to function and be part of the world. I refused to be depressed and stay in bed. I surrounded myself with loving friends and laughed on a daily basis.
Sometimes, this meant adjusting my lifestyle to accommodate the illness. For example, I cut sugar and animal products from my diet. If I went out to a restaurant with friends, I either ordered steamed vegetables or ate beforehand. By making these changes, I was able to continue to live my life and not put it on hold because of cancer. I told my friends to be as normal as possible around me because I did not want any pity. They drank wine while I sipped on my hot water with lemon or mint tea. Nobody treated me like a victim, which was important to me.
Every day, you have to show that you are living your life to the fullest. Your body will respond to that effort. When I made the decision to live, I also chose not to isolate myself. I deliberately did not want to live a sick life. If you live a sick life, your body will follow.
Design a Life Worth Fighting For
One of my client’s wives was diagnosed with breast cancer. The couple always lived a glamorous life. My client opened up to me about how he constantly encouraged his wife to go out and eat dinner with their friends, but all she wanted was to stay home. She lost her hair, so she did not feel pretty enough to see people. In my opinion, this is a dangerous approach that will cause your mental and physical health to suffer.
We are all guilty of taking life too seriously. Adults forget to live like kids, but no matter what they do, kids always have a great time. I have learned a lot about life from observing the way children behave. They move through the world free of anxiety and other negative emotions.
When you choose to live, make sure you are living a life worth fighting for. If anything feels gloomy and unfulfilling, change it. This is your chance to redesign your life. Deciding to live is the first step. The next step is to ask yourself what kind of life you want to live. Know what you want to work towards.
Don’t Give Your Pain Too Much Power
It can be difficult to continue living when your illness causes symptoms like pain or nausea—sensations that will distract you, hurt your morale, and hold you back from the activities you enjoy—but you can take steps to mentally fortify yourself against the discomfort.
Part of having lung cancer is being in constant pain. I suspected I could combat the pain by putting myself in the right mindset, but my doctor prescribed morphine and other painkillers. I refused to give in to those serious prescriptions, and I did not take a single painkiller medication.
My mind served as my strongest coping strategy. I knew that focusing on the pain would only make it hurt more. It’s one thing to acknowledge the pain but to accept it is something I was not prepared to do. Instead, I told myself, “Nothing hurts. I feel great.” I repeated this message to myself over and over until, one day, it was true! I no longer felt any pain.
Just like you can decide to live, you can decide how much power you will give to your pain. Focus on taking away your pain’s strength, and you can fight through it. You can continue to live your life to the fullest without giving up the activities you enjoy.
Take Action
Remember, choosing to live means choosing to take action. I set a goal for myself to make every day exciting. Even at my sickest period, I still woke up, put on makeup, and styled my hair because those steps were an important part of self-care for me. Your self-care routine might look different from mine. What is important is to stick with yours. When you choose to live, choose not to live an unconscious and mediocre life! Be alive! Do more than exist on autopilot.
Many people die from cancer before they have actually died from the disease. They die a metaphorical, emotional, and spiritual death. They might be surviving, but they certainly aren’t living. Survival is not a good enough goal. I want you to not only strive for a normal life but aim to make every day extraordinary. When you decide to fight to live, honor your choice by doing everything in your power to make your life exciting.
For more advice on choosing to live, you can find The Grace of Cancer on Amazon.
Veronica Villanueva discovered her “why” after being diagnosed with stage IV cancer in 2016. She knows she is alive today to share grace, blessings, and the lessons that cancer has taught her. Her “incurable” disease gave her the gift of knowing herself, loving herself, and sharing herself with others in a profound way. Through her work as a trained Cordon Bleu chef and certified health coach, Veronica aims to inspire others to embrace a holistic lifestyle built on a commitment to growth, eating healthy foods, taking the time to create memorable moments, and of course, fostering loving relationships.
